Here are some really funny quotes from the world of sports:
"I'm blessed to have great friends, and there are a lot of men in my life who've been more than just friends."-- Jim Nantz, April 2005 "Golf Digest"
"I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish the date."-- Shaquille O'Neal
"I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game. Whoever invented that was smart. That's got to be one of the best sandwiches ever."-- Bulls rookie Ben Gordon
"It's cold, it's hard and I wanna feel it."-- Ron Jaworski while describing a football in cold weather
"It's been kind of hard, I'm labeled as a jerk right now, you know what I mean? But I love it. I've been a jerk all my life. My momma loves this jerk. My kids love this jerk. I'm going to be a jerk in a good way, though. I'm going to be a jerk to the other teams and just go out there and play basketball. I can do that."-- Stephen Jackson
"Just picture your favorite guy and put it right through the hole."-- Drew Brees after winning a skills competition
"I'm tellin' ya man, to be able to stroke it like that must be some kind of feeling."-- Dick Vitale on J.J. Redick's shooting ability
"There's Fredo, there's Sonny and there's Michael. The Godfather handed it over to Michael. I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane."-- Shaquille O'Neal on comparing Penny Hardaway to Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade
Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. Darrin Weinberg
Some people think football is a matter of life and death…I can assure them it is much more serious than that. - Bill Shankly
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips
Serious sport is war minus the shooting. - George Orwell
There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them works. - Charlie Lau
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. - Bill Veeck
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. - Barry Switzer
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.- Sam Snead
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