Here are some jokes and words of wisdom from a profound philosopher, Larry the Cable Guy Remember, half the people you know are below average. |
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He who laughs last, thinks slowest. |
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. |
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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. |
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Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have. |
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. |
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Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. |
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If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. |
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How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. |
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OK, so what's the speed of dark? |
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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. |
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Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. |
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
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What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? |
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Why do psychics have to ask you your name? |
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" |
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Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. |
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. |
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Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow |
Monday, April 19, 2010
Wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy
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