Funny Quotes from Famous People - V

Here are some very funny quotes mostly from people who are quite famous:

I rant, therefore I am. -Dennis Miller

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights. –Jay London

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. –Groucho Marx

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. –Paul Lynde

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. –George Burns

I think serial monogamy says it all. –Tracey Ullman

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. –Ellen DeGeneres

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. –Mae West

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. –David Lee Roth

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. –Les Dawson

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. –Norman Wisdom

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. –Emo Philips

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. –Emo Philips

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. –Rod Schmidt

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. –Mitch Hedberg

I wish I had the nerve not to tip. –Paul Lynde

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. –Bertrand Russell

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. –Howard Nemerov

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. –Bette Davis

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. –Mercedes McCambridge

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