Here are some funny observations based on the news over the last week:
Senate candidate, Christine O’Donnell has come out against masturbation. This really shocked all the current members of Congress. They are now hopeful that she doesn’t say something bad about blow jobs and hookers or most of them will no longer have a reason to be in politics at all if that’s the case.
Many of the congressmen were aghast that she brought up the subject at all. Some of them were wondering if she was including all forms of masturbation like, for example, the kind that Congress is doing to the American public.
Apparently she thought this was a good way to get in touch with the American public and she wanted to make sure they weren’t touching themselves before she got in touch.
The Democrats think to ban masturbation would be a terrible idea. Why do that when you can tax it. Just another way to jerk money out of the public’s hands.
Well, I think I’ve pleasured myself enough with these masturbation jokes. But on a related subject, Tiger Woods has a new book coming out. I believe it’s called “18 holes per day”.
According to the National Bureau of Economic Research the US has officially emerged from the recession in June of 2009. Unfortunately they forgot to send that memo to the almost 10 % of the country that is unemployed.
Reportedly, the economists from the National Bureau of Economic Research all got their economics diplomas at K-Mart, Wal-Mart and other fine store where they are apparently sold. And their research was done at the local bar. This is a good lesson for the kids when they get to college – your calculators will not work properly if you spill alcohol on them when you are playing drinking games.
…And lastly, this is not news but still an interesting observation. I was in LA area last week and I saw a banner hanging outside someone’s house that said “Trojans”. I thought that was a weird place to sell condoms. Then I realized they were just fans of USC. (But then again I bet the USC football program wishes they had been wearing some protection before they got penalized for the Reggie Bush incident a month ago.)
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