Here are the best jokes from the late night comedians for this week. It is mostly Jay Leno since most of the others were off this week.
"Tomorrow night, President Obama will give his State of the Union address. The White House says the speech will focus on American jobs. So, I guess he's going to talk a lot about India." –Jay Leno
"Focus on jobs. This is going to be the shortest speech in history. 'Hey, there aren't any. Thank you. Good night.'" –Jay Leno
"President Obama has now been called for jury duty in Chicago. I think he should go. I mean, the economy is in bad shape. We could use five bucks a day. Every little bit helps." –Jay Leno
"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that California can save money by no longer incarcerating illegal immigrants and just sending them to Mexico instead. Well, actually, today, the immigrants had three words for Schwarzenegger — 'I'll be back.'" –Jay Leno
"More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'" –Jay Leno
"Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk." –Jay Leno
"That's an amazing amount of people: 11,000 jobs. The problem is they made the announcement in English, so everybody kept showing up for work." –Jay Leno
"Well, tonight in Washington, President Barack Obama gave his State of the Union Address before a joint session of Congress. Joint session sounds like more fun than it is." –Jimmy Kimmel
"John McCain's wife and her daughter, Meghan, have posed for pictures endorsing gay marriage here in California, although Senator McCain — well, he's still very traditional. He believes marriage should be between an older man and a really hot-looking younger woman." –Jay Leno
"Actually, I saw John McCain today. He and John Edwards were at the same store. They were both buying diapers, but for different reasons." –Jay Leno
"As I'm sure you know, John Edwards has finally admitted he's the father of Rielle Hunter's baby. There's a shock. Who saw that coming? Given how long it took him to admit it, the kid is now old enough not to vote for him." –Jay Leno
"Actually, John Edwards said today he's going to help raise the little girl. He said he's looking forward to teaching his daughter everything he knows about hair care products." –Jay Leno
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