Here are some funny one line jokes from Joan Rivers:
“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.”
“I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
“You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again”
“It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.”
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.”
“I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."”
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“A child of one can be taught not to do certain things such as touch a hot stove, turn on the gas, pull lamps off their tables by their cords, or wake mommy before noon”
“A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.”
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.”
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