Here are some fast humorous thoughts inspired by my dog.
Pets are often thought of as good medicine for sick people. The Vietnamese take it one step further. Pets are not only good medicine, but also good for lunch. (Note to self – never go to Vietnam and order a hot dog.)
People talk about a “dog’s life” like it’s a bad thing. Let’s see, they get to lay around and sleep all day, they get their food served to them, and they can lick themselves whenever they want.
Pets are useful in so many ways, like how Lassie would save Timmy every time that idiot kid fell down the well by getting his parents. Now if Lassie could just learn to go down the well herself and pull the kid out without bothering the parent, so they could finish their martinis, then you really have something.
Dogs are much more loyal than cats. Dogs will stick with their owners no matter what, whereas cats are more the like the Bill Clinton of pets, they wander around and you never know where they’ve just been.
Once my dog got house trained he would always relieve himself at the same place. I swear he is the one who wrote the famous poem that starts out “I think that I shall never see a toilet lovely as a tree.”
I haven’t had much luck training my dog. We were out for a walk and I said to him, “Heel. “ He looked at me kind of offended and said, “Asshole!”
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