Here are some funny observations based on the happenings in the news from the last week:
Ben Bernake has pledged to fight deflation but he basically said he has no idea how. So he has been seen wearing boxing gloves and wandering around looking for some girl named Dee Flation. Richard Nixon became famous for the line, “I am not a crook.” Bernake is likely to be known for the line, “I am not an economist.” In fact, he so much has no idea of what he is doing that he is thinking of retiring and becoming an executive for BP oil.
Miners in Chile’ are trapped in a mine and officials there are saying it will take months to get them out. So, apparently the BP oil execs and engineers have been transferred to Chile’.
Male teachers in Milwaukee are up in arms because their health benefits are no longer going to cover Viagra. At the same time the female students at the school who were having trouble getting passing grades are breathing a sigh of relief.
John Lennon’s toilet went on sale this last weekend at a Beatle’s convention in Liverpool, England. You can bet Liverpool was flush with stories about that. It sold for over $14,000 so you can bet the guy who bought that has a good head for business. (Whew! I feel relieved getting those toilet puns out of my system and, frankly, I’d have been pissed if I hadn’t.)
There is a car being developed that will be powered by urine. This is seen to be a real boon to the beer industry.
Obama has said in a recent interview that he is not worried about all the rumors that he is Muslim and accusations that he wasn’t born in the US. He was quoted as saying, “I can’t spend all my time with my birth certificate plastered to my forehead.” But maybe he could stuff it in his mouth or at least use it to cover the teleprompter when he talks so that we don’t have to hear about any more hope and change. Too much more of his change and the country will be bankrupt. (A little too much truth there to be very funny. Sorry about that, so I’ll do one more.)
There is talk about doing a male version of The View. In that show I guess you’ll have men sitting around burping, farting, cussing and watching sports while drinking beer and telling jokes about women. What else would it be?
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