Romance is a wonderful thing. It could be said that it is the glue the holds that holds relationships together. The only problem with the subject of romance is that men and women have a totally different definition of what it is.
To women it is something like a candlelit dinner while the couple gazes into each other’s eyes with dreamy, loving talk and thoughts, holding hands, along with an occasional caress. It’s the kind of ultimate experience she hopes can last a lifetime.
Men tend to be simpler. To us romance equals sex, pure and simple. That other stuff is what we have to go through to get “romance”. To women the romance part ends when the sex starts.
Men, being the idiots we are, don’t really get that. Okay, we get it a little bit but only enough to go along with it until we can get to the real “romance”.
A romantic marriage proposal to a woman would be for the man to carry out a plan that was months in the making. It would include things like her being carried in a throne by eunuchs into a room that would be filled with flowers while doves fly overhead. As the man drops to his knees one of the doves flies down and places into his hand the huge diamond engagement ring that he went deeply in debt to purchase just so he could make this special moment even more perfect for her. With tears streaming down both of their faces he asks her for her hand in marriage, to which she replies, “Yes, oh , yes.” (This type of female oriented romance will lead to actual “romance” for him soon after so he deems it worthwhile.)
On the other hand, a romantic marriage proposal by a man would be to put the ring down his pants so she gets it when they are being “romantic”, if you get my meaning.
Here is how a typical conversation might go between a man and a woman on the subject of romance. Although, let me be very clear that the man in this scenario is not nearly as enlightened as the men in the above examples.
Woman: We need to talk.
Man: (Rolling his eyes) Oh man, what did I do now?
Woman: You didn’t DO anything. That’s the problem.
Man: (Confused) Huh?...Oh wait a minute, are you PMSing.
(The woman glares at him so intensely he can feel the heat penetrating his skin.)
Okay, that was clearly the wrong thing to say. But I still have no idea what you are talking about.
Woman: I’m talking about romance.
Man: (Feeling more confident now) I don’t see a problem then, we just had sex last night.
Woman: That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking…
Man: (Cutting her off) Hey, if you want to mix it up right now, I’m game. (Looks at his watch) Although we need to hurry, there’s a football game coming on in five minutes. And if you’re gonna insist on that foreplay stuff we have to get started
Woman: (Yelling) I’m talking about romance not sex, you moron!
Man: Well, you’re just talking crazy now. I can’t even follow you at all. Plus, calling me a moron totally takes me out of my romantic mood. Besides, we’re running out of time anyway. (Turns toward the TV) Why don’t you just get me a beer and maybe a sandwich too.
Seconds later he receives his beer bottle in the back of his head.
In my defense, I did already say men were idiots. And, for the record, I’m a great believer in romance…I’m just not saying which definition.
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