Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
Illinois passed a new law that allows people to eat road kill they find on the highway. Taco Bell was like, “Oh great, another competitor for our meat source.”
Newt Gingrich has an excellent chance to be our next President because he has so much in common with many Americans, being overweight like he is.
Salt Lake City was voted the gayest city. It could be because they are just a little behind the times there. When people were asked if they were gay they just thought they meant happy.
The homosexuals of San Francisco response was, “We think Salt Lake City is nice but San Francisco is FABULOUS.”
It looks more and more like Mitt Romney is going to be the Republican presidential candidate. He’s feeling more confident too. His new campaign slogan is, “I’m as good as it gets, deal with it.”
Michelle Obama was being interviewed by CBS’s Gayle King and was asked about being characterized as an “angry black woman.” Michelle’s response was, “If I hear that characterization one more time I’m gonna kick some ass.”
I saw a headline this week that said “Nancy Pelosi defending Barney Frank and discussing her feelings about Anthony Weiner.” Frank and Weiner? Is it me or is Nancy Pelosi subliminally setting us up for her retirement when she plans to open a hot dog stand?
A new study says that America’s obesity rate is down. Trouble is they left out part of the phrase. It should have read it was “down the toilet,” which gives it a whole new meaning.
Authorities arrested a man in North Carolina after his neighbor caught him having sex with her 60 lb. dog. The man claimed his neighbor must be some kind of a pervert for having watched it.
In China, an Apple store couldn’t open because of safety concerns with a mob of people waiting outside to buy the iPhone 4S. When they didn’t open the crowd pelted the store with eggs. People in China are already stocking up on eggs in anticipation of the release of iPhone 5.
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