Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and Craig Ferguson:
"Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita." –Jay Leno
"President Obama will be going to Disney World where he'll unveil his new plan to create jobs. And what better place for the president to talk about his jobs plan than Fantasyland?" –Jay Leno
"Sen. John McCain told Sean Hannity that choosing Sarah Palin was still the best decision he ever made. Well, today the Arizona DMV took away his driver's license." –Jay Leno
"A cardiologist now says that former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards' trial has to be delayed because Edwards has a life-threatening condition. Hey, don't all husbands who cheat have a life-threatening condition?" –Jay Leno
"Because of a protest, starting at midnight, Wikipedia is going to shut down for 24 hours. In fact, it's 11:05, so you have less than one hour to get most of your facts wrong." –Conan O'Brien
"At the last Republican debate, Mitt Romney talked about his love of hunting. In fact, Romney said on his last hunting trip, he shot three dear and fired two elk." –Conan O'Brien
"King Jung Nam, the brother of North Korean leader Kim Jung Un, said that as a leader his younger brother will fail. When he heard this, Kim Jung Un was so upset at his older brother, he yelled, 'I'm telling Kim Jung Mom.'" –Conan O'Brien
"President Obama is visiting Disney World on Thursday to promote a new plan to boost tourism. Of course, it's going to be awkward when he walks into the 'Hall of Presidents' and sees them making room for Mitt Romney." –Jimmy Fallon
"Obama doesn't pay admission to Disney World. He just charges it to the China section of Epcot." –Jimmy Fallon
"The State Department issued a new travel warning yesterday, urging U.S. citizens to avoid Syria. Yeah, it was part of a new set of warnings called, 'Things you were probably doing already.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Jon Huntsman has dropped out of the race for president to return to his former job as the guy in the picture that comes with the frame." –Jimmy Kimmel
"At the first Republican debate, they were standing behind podiums, then they had them at a round table, and then one night they had them in bunk beds." –David Letterman
"Wikipedia is going dark to protest a bill that's before Congress. I know what you're thinking: 'If Wikipedia is dark, who'll supply America with bogus facts?'" –Craig Ferguson
"This SOPA bill is aimed at going after Internet pirates. Not old-school pirates, but the modern pirates, who use hard drives." –Craig Ferguson
"On one hand, this bill threatens free speech, the bedrock on which this country is founded. On the other hand, it's supported by Viacom, which owns CBS." –Craig Ferguson
"The bill was cooked up by big studios who want larger fines for websites connected to piracy. People wonder why Hollywood makes such crappy movies and TV shows. It's because they spend all their time preventing people from stealing the crap they've already made." –Craig Ferguson
There's a new app that lets you post a message on Facebook after you die. Now you can finish off that message you were typing right before you got into the head-on collision. -Jay Leno
According to a Washington Post poll, 84 percent of Americans do not approve of the way Congress is doing its job. Sixteen percent weren't even aware Congress is doing a job. -Jay Leno
An intelligence officer with the Canadian armed forces has been arrested for passing Canadian military secrets to a terrorist group. I don't know what's more shocking, the fact that he did that or that Canada has military secrets. -Jay Leno
To protest an Internet censorship law, Wikipedia has shut down for 24 hours. So if anyone is trying to look up by bio on Wikipedia, I'm 31, an Olympic medalist, and married to Scarlett Johansson. –Conan O'Brien
To help working mothers in Indonesia, a company is providing breast milk couriers. What happens is the courier takes the milk from the factory where the mother works and takes it to the factory where the baby works. –Conan O'Brien
They found an opossum on the subway, and not only that, but in the opossum's pouch, they found a loaded weapon. –David Letterman
Here's what we know about the opossum. What they do is pretend to play dead so predators will leave them alone. Well, isn't that everybody on the subway? –David Letterman
From nose to tail, it was two feet long. And it was so big, at first the transit authority thought it was a small New York City rat. –David Letterman
President Obama took Michelle out to a steak restaurant for her birthday, marking the first time in months the words “Obama” and “well done” appeared in the same sentence. –Jimmy Fallon
Last week, a British Airways crew mistakenly told passengers that their plane was about to crash into the ocean. They made an even scarier announcement later: “Your in-flight movie will be ‘Yogi Bear.’” –Jimmy Fallon
Yeah, the crew told passengers their plane was about to crash, but it turns out a flight attendant hit the wrong button. I don’t know what’s worse — getting lied to about crashing into the ocean, or knowing it happens so often there’s a button for it. –Jimmy Fallon
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a day everyone in my studio audience decided to celebrate by seeing the whitest man on television. –Conan O'Brien
According to a study, the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year. Yeah, especially if you're a Broncos fan who supports Jon Huntsman. –Conan O'Brien
One of the products unveiled at the Consumers Electronics Show is a remote for your television that you control with your mind. When you think “on,” it turns on the TV. When you stop thinking completely, it turns on "Jersey Shore.” –Conan O'Brien
From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street. –Craig Ferguson
Some of the guys who escaped from Alcatraz made dummies of their heads and put them in their beds to fool the guards. I did the same thing here last time I interviewed Regis Philbin. He never figured it out. –Craig Ferguson
The most famous Alcatraz inmates are probably Al Capone and Machine Gun Kelly. But I think Machine Gun Kelly was destined for a life of crime. –Craig Ferguson
Some big election news. Jon Huntsman has officially dropped out of the 2012 presidential race. Wow, not having Jon Huntsman on the campaign trail is gonna be like . . . Well, it’s gonna be like having Jon Huntsman on the campaign trail. –Jimmy Fallon
During a campaign event on Saturday, Mitt Romney reached into his pocket and gave cash to a woman who said she was broke. Which got awkward, when she was like, “I'm also lonely!” –Jimmy Fallon
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