Here are some of David Letterman's top ten lists from last week:
Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Amanda Knox's Mind When The Verdict Was Read
10 "Mama mia, that's a spicy verdict"
9 "If there's time, I'd still like to see the Coliseum"
8 "Can I keep my Versace prison jumpsuit?"
7 "Four years in an Italian prison, this is the last time I book through Priceline"
6 "Who's Justin Bieber?"
5 "I want to go hiking in Iran"
4 "I can't believe I've gone four years without a Pop Tart"
3 "Does time served in Italian jail count towards my degree?"
2 "I wonder how Conan is doing on 'The Tonight Show'"
1 "If Michele O'Bachmann becomes President, I'm moving back to Italy"
Top Ten Reasons Chris Christie Is Not Running for President
10 As always, he's following his gut
9 Wants to spend more time with pie
8 There isn't a Quiznos within five miles of the White House
7 Afraid of going up against the Newt Gingrich juggernaut
6 Doesn't own a tie without a mustard stain
5 He was advised against it by his closest confidante, Duncan Hines
4 Constitution requires every candidate to be able to see their feet
3 Can't understand response because of chewing
2 Hank Williams, Jr. just compared him to Stalin
1 He was born in Kenya
Top Ten Ways Rick Perry Plans To Spend $17 Million
10 Death row taco bar
9 Two words: Alberto VO5
8 Hire staff to write some more great zingers like this . . .
7 Always wanted to see Branson
6 Spend a weekend at his hunting lodge with Hank Williams, Jr.
5 $8.5 million on campaign buttons; $8.5 million on bumper stickers
4 Health care for all Texans . . . I'm totally messing with you
3 Shut up or he'll execute you
2 Get a fabulous makeover from Michele O'Bachmann's husband
1 Buy lunch for Chris Christie
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