Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
Since there was a warm day in the beginning of fall Al Gore’s head came out of the groundhog hole and saw it’s shadow which meant 6 more years of hearing him drone on about global warming. This prompted Donald Trump to ask to see Gore’s birth certificate, not to see if he is a citizen, but to see if he was ever really alive.
The creator of Doritos died last week at the age of 97. It’s reported he never ate Doritos and that’s what helped him live so long.
Leading Republicans are really interested in getting Chris Christie to join the presidential race. They are confident he can pull the fat vote which should make him a sure thing to win.
Last Thursday was National Coffee Day. Coffee drinkers were up all night celebrating their caffeine highs.
During a speech last week Ben Bernanke said that unemployment was a national crisis. Then someone whispered in his ear that his policies contributed greatly to this problem. The next line of his speech was, ‘Oh…never mind then.”
Bank of America is going to start charging a $5 monthly fee for customers using their debit cards. Banks used to give out toasters now they just consider the customers to be toast.
Michelle Obama was shopping at Target last week. Most likely, she was stocking up for the new house they’ll be moving into in 2012.
Holly Madison had her breasts insured. Wouldn’t that be considered insurance fraud to insure a fake asset?
Mark Zuckerman, the Facebook founder recently went hunting and killed a bison. Before he shot it the bison was heard to say, “You might as well shoot me now because I will never agree to be one of your bitch farm animals in Farmville.”
Hooters is suing a rival restaurant for stealing trade secrets. They were, apparently, also going to hire big breasted waitresses.
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