Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Craig Ferguson and David Letterman:
"Now, according to The Wall Street Journal, a new study says a parent should not be alarmed if their child tells a lie. They say it's a natural part of development and there are three phases — adolescent lying, young adult lying, and of course, oil executive lying. That is the biggest." –Jay Leno
"BP, Transocean and Halliburton are blaming each other for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. They are all right." –Jay Leno
"These people make Goldman Sachs look responsible, don't they?" –Jay Leno
"BP is going to try to stop the leak by pushing garbage into it. Oh, yeah, they haven't screwed up the gulf enough, let's fill it with garbage, too." –Jay Leno
"Police in Cairo have detained an American man who arrived on a flight from JFK with two handguns, 250 bullets, swords, daggers and knives in his luggage. When they heard this, JFK screeners were like, 'Sure he had all these things, but here's what he didn't have — bottled water or nail clippers.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Prison inmates in Louisiana are now pitching in to clean up the Gulf Coast oil spill. At this point, the solutions have been dump chemicals in the ocean, shoot a bunch of garbage under water and release prisoners. If none of that works, they're going to have Al Qaeda come take a look at it." –Jimmy Fallon
"Hey, here's some good news. The price of oil has dropped by $12 a barrel. I mean, why buy it when you can just scoop it out of the water, huh?" –Jay Leno
"Oh, speaking of that. If anybody needs a 100-ton concrete containment dome, there's one on eBay for 75 bucks." –Jay Leno
"Actually, you know, that stupid idea about using a giant concrete dome and putting it over the leak, well, that didn't work. In fact, experts are calling this the worst use of a concrete dome since they built that stadium for the Detroit Lions." –Jay Leno
"Congress told BP they can't label this catastrophic failure as an unpredictable and unforeseeable occurrence. See, Congress used that excuse for not catching the financial meltdown, so now they have to come up with their own excuse." –Jay Leno
"Greece is a relatively small country. It would be like a state over here. But it overspends, it over borrows, it promises expensive pension plans, it over-taxes, it over-regulates business. So, the state it would be here would be California." –Jay Leno
"Well, in announcing this Elena Kagan as his nominee for the Supreme Court, President Barack Obama characterized Kagan as a 'trailblazing leader.' The other Democrats said she was a wise choice because she had no paper trail." –Jay Leno
"Let me tell you about 'The Late Show.' It's like a car bomb and an oil spill all in one." –David Letterman
"Last weekend, President Obama gave an impassioned speech against technology. And then he had to stop when the teleprompter broke." –Craig Ferguson
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