Here are some funny observations (aka jokes) that are based on this week's news:
A spokesman for BP said at a press conference that BP was going to take full responsibility for the oil spill then he added, “Hey, what is the deal with Goldman Sachs, can you believe what they did to the economy? What’s up with that?”
There are now allegations that Michael Jackson was gay. I don’t know about that but I heard he was seriously considering becoming a Catholic priest.
A holy man in India is claiming to have gone the last 70 years without food or water. I think someone needs to tell him that there is white cloth wrapped around his body because he is a mummy and he has been dead for 70 years. If the kid from “The Sixth Sense" was there he’d be saying, “I see dead people,” to him.
The SEC is investigating the recent unusual trading activity in the stock market in the last few days. They said they are going to get to the bottom of this. Luckily, since many of their executives have been accused of looking at porn on the job they are used to investigating many bottoms.
A recent survey showed that people 45 and older were dissatisfied with their sex lives. Of course, this was mostly men who had recently read about Tiger Woods’ exploits.
Ben Bernake spoke to graduates of the University of South Carolina and told them that money can’t buy happiness. I think the unspoken message here was that as long as there was a Fed and he was running it you aren’t very likely to have any money.
Elena Kagen, the Solicitor General, was nominated to the Supreme Court by Obama. I never heard of the Solicitor General post. What does it do? It sounds like she just makes sales calls to people about nothing in particular. If she makes a decision in the Supreme Court is she going to be calling people to get their opinion about how to vote?
…and finally, with all the news about Greece lately, former president Bush was heard asking Laura Bush, “What do you call a person from Greece, a Greaser?”
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