Here are some funny observations that were made after watching the news over the last week.
A fugitive drug lord named,”The Barbie”, was captured in Mexico last week. This is likely to put a real crimp on sales of the Malibu Marijuana Barbie that Mattel was about to release.
A Cincinnati woman had been arrested for simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic movie while driving. Thank god the police got to her before she was able to start texting to her friends about it.
Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession last week. At first she said it wasn’t her purse with the cocaine. Later she said she thought the cocaine was gum. I’ll just bet when she was a young girl her dog used to eat her homework all the time.
Paris will never be mistaken for a bright girl. To say she was smart would be like saying Congress stood for truth, justice and the American way.
A member of the Obama administration recently tried to take credit for a drop off in illegal immigrants entering the country. Why would they come here? Our economy is bad and there is corruption in the government. That’s what they are trying to get away from. The only reason they’d come here is because they’d be passing through on their way to Canada.
A plane was forced to land prematurely recently because a woman was scalded by tea. Come November I believe there will be many Democrats who get scalded by tea as well, or at least by the Tea Party.
Obama has proposed a new jobs program for rebuilding roads, railways and airports. He’s a little unrealistic though in his hope that it can be finished in time for the November elections. He was hoping it would make it easier for the incumbents who get voted out to find their way home.
Obama was also heard saying to Joe Biden that a jobs program was needed because they would both be looking for work in a couple years, to which Biden replied, “You got that f___ing right.”
Yesterday was Labor Day but thanks to the stimulus program and many other Obama programs many people were just calling it “another day”.
That 2 year old Indonesian boy who had a 2 pack a day cigarette habit was able to quit by substituting sex every time he had an urge for a cigarette.
No comments:
Post a Comment