I recently had the opportunity to go clothes shopping with a woman. When I say I had the opportunity I mean I was forced at gunpoint.
Being somewhat of a fashion expert myself, whose range of fashion extends all the way from sitting in front of my computer in my underwear to going out to pick up the newspaper in my bathrobe, I can say it was quite an experience.
As an aside, why is it that fashion models, both male and women, look like they are always pissed? Is it because they are saying to themselves, “This stupid outfit is riding up my crotch but I can’t stop and adjust it, those baseball players who are always tugging at their crotches are so lucky, so I’m going to at least let everyone know that I’m not happy about it.” I guess if they had a smile on their faces there would be the danger that the audience would think the model was just laughing at how stupid the outfit they were wearing looked. I’m glad I worked that out. Whoever said fashion was tough?
Back to my shopping experience, my duties were varied from carrying the bags to…actually, that was it. If I was asked an opinion it was only to verify choosing the opposite of what I said (that and to awaken me from my stupor.)
I am told that women like to replenish their wardrobe every 6 months or so (varies based on the degree of craziness). My own closet still has clothing from 20 or more years ago. Yeah, you women are laughing at me right now when I’m wearing my leisure suit, but won’t you be sorry when time travel is invented and you’ll have nothing to wear.
There is apparently, a new fashion season for each season of the year. The title of this article is actually a misnomer but it is convenient for me because I can I can just recycle this article for the winter fashion season, etc., etc. (My genius knows no bounds along with my unlimited work ethic.)
You’d think women would recycle what they wore in the last season but that ain’t gonna happen because it would violate the fashion sense of most women, which is “buy anything new.”
Also , I would like to know what would make a pair of shoes worth $500 or a purse worth $1,000. My only guess is that they find those rare cows that leave cow ploppers in the pasture that are lined in gold and they use their skins to make the shoes and purses. That, or women are suckers, not sure which. Naturally, anybody reading my articles would not fall into the sucker category. You would merely be making wise investment choices with your shoe and purse purchases! Bravo to you!
Supposedly, it is fashion magazines who decide what is in style for any particular season. The two most important prerequisites for “fashionable” are expensive and, as covered above, new. Lesser requirements are that the new styles have to fit on the body of scarecrows (which is why the weight loss industry and fashion industry are so closely related) and it has to be something slightly more weird than last season.
Once again, we re-discover that men are so much simpler than women. For myself, I just need a new set of socks and underwear at Christmas time and I am set for the year.
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