It's time for another version of "It Could be Worse" where we cheer ourselves up by looking at no matter how bad things seem to be they can always be worse:
It could be worse:
1) You could be a dog living with a hungry Vietnamese family:
2) You could be a homeless person and just as you are making your “will work for food” sign your magic marker dries up.
3) You could be a very virtuous, attractive, slightly overweight woman and saving yourself for marriage and be set up on a blind date with Bill Clinton.
4) You could run out of gas on a lonely desolate road and your only source of new gas is the food you ate an hour ago at Taco Bell.
5) You could have a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses ringing your doorbell and they refuse to leave because they know you are hiding inside.
6) You could be a guy in a bar telling your friends about the sexual conquest you had last night and through the fog of the beer you realize it was just a masturbation fantasy.
7) You could be that guy again in the bar talking to your friends and you tell them about the cleavage you just saw but you don’t tell them that it was the cleavage of your fat-assed plumber who was at your house to unclog the toilet.
8) You could have so many weird things happening to you that you qualify to get your own reality show.
9) You could have been Donald Trump’s brother named John and when people started calling him “the Donald” they started calling you “the John”.
10) You could get a free piece of birthday cake when you eat at Denny’s and the only thing you can think to wish for when you blow out the candles is to be in a different restaurant.
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