When men clean something, unless it is a car, they have a completely different standard of clean than women have, and by different I mean lower. Not that we consider the object or room to be unclean, but if a women were to inspect our cleaning job after we do it to our “man clean” standard her first response will be to shake her head, then she’ll try to shame us into redoing the job and ultimately she will bypass us altogether and clean it herself and point out the difference afterward (which we won’t be able to see).
“Woman clean” seems so unnecessary to a man. When a man cleans up in the house his viewpoint is to get off the worse dirt and the female of the house can get the rest. We figure we did the hard work and you can take over from there. We just never put it to the woman like that for self-preservation reasons. It’s not unlike when we open a jar for the woman, we feel like we cooked the meal but she gets to take the credit. Being such benevolent guys we can live with that.
“Woman clean” compared to “man clean” could be compared to the high-pitched sounds that only a dog can hear. Men just don’t see what the women see.
This is a little known fact, but, men used to be in charge of the cleaning back in the caveman days. They would get the cave spick and span by their standard and then when the woman would get home from having a Sabertooth tiger burger with a swamp grass salad on the side with her girlfriends at the local cave diner she would throw a hissy fit about the cleaning job that he did. It got to the point that he had to carry a club around just to protect himself. Finally, the cave woman got so sick of the lousy cleaning job that the man did that she took over the cleaning hat, and that’s where we have it today. We men keep trying every now and then but we just can’t seem to get our cleaning up to the woman’s standard. And darn it, we are really upset about that (to the guys only: wink, wink.)
This week we will get a guest rebuttal to what I have to say by my girlfriend, Su. (Please, don’t confuse her with our occasional guest columnist, Dear Crabby, who some might think she is the real life version of. Just to be clear, I would never think that, nor do I know anybody who would, just sayin’.)
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Man clean. Oxymoron. For decades, I’ve lived by the adage “A clean machine is a happy machine.” You’d think that guys, who are into machines, would instinctively understand this. Maybe it’s because they stopped cleaning back in the caveman days, before machines.
Recently, our vacuum cleaner wasn’t working. I asked Steve to check it out. He looked at it. He said, “I don’t see anything wrong.”
I answered, “Was the roller clean? Was the belt on track?” You’d of thought I was speaking Greek. Or Cave.
Sigh.
There are things that men are good at, though—taking out the trash, for instance. Steve is so good at this, in fact, that sometimes he puts the cans on the street days before pickup. Hmmmm, I just had a thought…. Maybe he did that so I wouldn’t see that he forgot to put it out the week before….
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(Seriously, guys, she is NOT Dear Crabby.)
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