Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on currents events over the last week:
It turns out that President Obama has Irish ancestry. Donald Trump wants to see their birth certificates.
Obama was a little miffed because the security name that Scotland Yard had for him in England roughly translated to smart aleck. But really that’s a compliment compared to a lot of the names he’s called in his own country. (If there’s any doubt, I’m talking about the US not Kenya.)
Presidential candidate, Tim Pawlenty, said his campaign will tell the American people the truth, so already we know he’s lying to us.
In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine Donald Trump discusses his best orgasm ever. Knowing how self absorbed The Donald can be I'm going to guess there was no other person involved with that orgasm.
A man was arrested last week for masturbating on a United Airlines flight. When he left the plane they charged him a “getting off fee” and it wasn’t because he was leaving.
Speaking of airlines, Southwest Airlines has implemented a new fee. They’ll charge $15 for curing constipation every time they scare it out of you on one of their planes.
Campbell’s announced sales of its soups have dropped due to rising food costs. So, to combat that they are going to eliminate any of the real food they still do use in their soups.
The Pope’s advisor on pedophilia cases, an Italian priest, has been arrested and charged with pedophilia. He told police he was just doing research so he could be a better advisor.
A burglar in Delaware was found sleeping on his victim’s couch after drinking too many beers during the robbery. The 63 year old woman homeowner came home and he ran out when she said she was going to call to call the police. He was later apprehended while he was walking in the neighborhood drinking a beer. He would compare to great thieves as “pull my finger’ would compare to high brow humor.
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