Here are some funny quotes from the humorist P. J. O'Rourke:
America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.
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