Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians.
"New York congressman Eric Massa has resigned his post this week after allegations that he groped his male staff. If it's not Charlie Rangel trying to get into your wallet, it's Eric Massa trying to get in your pants." –Jay Leno
"Massa was on Glenn Beck and he showed a book of graphic photos of things sailors did for fun when at sea. The book was so graphic, they couldn't show them on the air. Now if you're trying to convince people you're not gay, you probably shouldn't show your big book of naked sailors." –Jay Leno
"Former New York congressman Eric Massa admitted to tickling a staffer until he couldn't breathe. Dick Cheney said, 'We should have tried that at Gitmo.'" –David Letterman
"If you're wondering why we don't have healthcare, it's because there's too much tickling in Congress." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now says that 9/11, the attacks on the United States on 9/11, were fabricated. Like his re-election." –David Letterman
"He says the whole thing was an elaborate hoax. I'm skeptical. I think I'll wait to see what Kim Jong-il says." –David Letterman
"But the guy seriously is nuts. He also denies that Conan O'Brien ever hosted 'The Tonight Show.'" –David Letterman
"Record ratings for the Oscars last night. Kathryn Bigelow won best director for her film about the Iraq war. But in her speech, she forgot to thank the two people without whom this film could never have been made — Bush and Cheney." –Jay Leno
"As you know, this year, they expanded the best picture category to include 10 films. In fact, even the death montage — they expanded that to include President Obama's health care plan. Did you notice that?" –Jay Leno
"Hey, how about this? President Obama had a meeting at the White House with Jay-Z and Beyoncé. And, in fact, they hit it off so well, Jay-Z gave the president his own rap name, 'Biggie Deficit.'" –Jay Leno
"Everyone watch the Oscars last night? Big night for 'The Hurt Locker', which of course is a film about the war in Iraq, which, I guess explains why Obama called the director and was like, 'How did you end it?'" –Jimmy Fallon
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