Here are some jokes based on this last week's news:
There was a lady who weighs 600lbs. and she wants to gain another 400 lbs so that she can be the fattest woman ever. In related news, Congress wants to pass one more stupid bill so they can be called the most stupid Congress ever.
Joe Biden is happy that Nancy Pelosi said we’ll have to pass the health care bill to find out what’s in it. He said, “Finally, I’m not the only one that doesn’t know what’s going on.”
In other healthcare news, Donald Trump called Obama and asked if fixing his hair would be covered in the new healthcare.
Obama told him, “I have no idea, no one really knows what’s in the bill, we’ll find out soon.”
After the healthcare bill passed Nancy Pelosi's face muscles went into spasm because they had never experienced a natural smile before.
In a recent Gallup poll 80% of the people said they disapprove of what Congress is doing, the other 20% just abstained from voting because they were mistresses and illegitimate children of congressmen.
Obama is claiming a victory because 80% had to be a non-partisan majority, just like he claimed he’d get when he ran for President.
And finally, it looks like Sandra Bullock and Jessie James marriage is on the rocks. He was cheating on her with a tattoo artist. Apparently he could read what his girlfriend was writing on his body but he was unable to read the writing on the wall.
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