Here are some jokes from a comedian from a few generations ago, Joe E. Lewis:
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
No comments:
Post a Comment