Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman and Craig Ferguson:
"An upcoming Republican debate will be moderated by Donald Trump. It will take place in the Trump Forum for the Future of Democracy and Casino." –Conan O'Brien
"The day before yesterday, Herman Cain suspended his campaign. That is a shame. He touched so many people.” –Stephen Colbert
"Herman Cain announced Saturday he was suspending his campaign. He brought his wife with him, so apparently he couldn't get a date. I guess he used up all his 9-9-9 lives. The closest he got to the White House was spending the night at Ginger White's house." –Jay Leno
"The good news: unemployment is down and people are out looking for work. That's good news. In fact today Herman Cain applied at Domino's, Pizza Hut, Round Table, and Little Caesars..." –Jay Leno
"Not surprisingly, Herman Cain suspended his presidential campaign. He made the announcement on Saturday...he brought his wife with him so apparently he couldn't find a date." –Jay Leno
"President Obama is getting some flak for his planned 17-day Christmas vacation. That's a long time, 17 days. I mean, even Mary and Joseph only took the day off for Christmas." –Jay Leno
"To save money, the U.S. Postal Service announced the end of next-day service. That's a good way to get people to come back, isn't it? Make your service even slower than it already is." –Jay Leno
"Due to the bad economy, the Queen of England's salary will be frozen for the next four years. In fact, to make ends meet the queen is thinking of having a yard sale. Getting rid of a lot of stuff they don't use anymore, like Canada." –Jay Leno
"We have a mayor here called Mayor Bloomberg and he's a little man. And this is the worst time of year for the guy, as you can imagine because whenever he's out walking around, everybody's screaming, 'Look, one of Santa's elves!'" –David Letterman
"Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off." –David Letterman
"Everybody's talking about the presidential election. And this is big: Two days after stepping down, there are rumors that Herman Cain is endorsing his former rival, Newt Gingrich. Not to be president, but to be his new wingman." –Jimmy Fallon
"Even though Herman Cain is suspending his campaign, he's launching a new website called TheCainSolution.com. Yeah, it's the only political website that makes you click an 'I'm Over 18' button to enter." –Jimmy Fallon
"Herman Cain made a major announcement on Saturday at the grand opening of his new campaign headquarters, announcing that he is suspending his campaign. It was a grand opening and a grand closing at the same time." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Now that he's back home Herman Cain's wife has a huge to-do list for him. 1. Clean out the garage. 2. Go live in it." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Cain blames a conspiracy by powerful Democrats who are intent on destroying him for these various allegations. I don't think you can blame the Democrats. I'm pretty sure they were rooting for him in this particular case." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Over the weekend, Herman Cain dropped out the Republican presidential race. Cain said he wants to spend more time with the wife. Not his wife." –Craig Ferguson
Here in Los Angeles, it was so cold that Christmas shoppers here at the Wal-Mart pepper sprayed each other just to feel the burn. –Jay Leno
Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich sentenced to 14 years in prison. This is the most disgraceful thing to happen to an Illinois governor since their last governor. –Jay Leno
According to reports, one of Moammar Gadhafi’s sons had an elaborate plan to sneak into Mexico. Authorities broke up the plan before it took place. Believe me, if there's one thing Mexico will not stand for, it’s people sneaking over their border. –Jay Leno
There was an embarrassing moment for Rick Perry. He announced that it was the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Jam. –Jay Leno
India has suspended its plans to let a Wal-Mart open in its country. The prime minister's exact words were “India will make your crappy clothes, but we won't buy them.” –Conan O'Brien
Someone hacked into Facebook and leaked Mark Zuckerberg's private photos. When Zuckerberg realized someone had showed a blatant disregard for his privacy, he hired them. –Conan O'Brien
Rod Blagojevich is going away for 14 Years in prison. His barber got the death penalty. –David Letterman
Newt Gingrich did not make it on the Most Fascinating People list. He made it on another list of 2011 though: Most Fascinating Newts. –David Letterman
The former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich got 14 Years in prison. He will probably get time off for good hair. –Craig Ferguson
To give you an idea how long that is, take Kim Kardashian's marriage and add 14 years. –Craig Ferguson
He was convicted of trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack Obama. –Craig Ferguson
Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight yesterday. The good news is, it freed up three seats for standby passengers. –Craig Ferguson
The Library of Congress has partnered with Twitter to store every tweet ever posted in their archive of historical documents. So, this is what Congress is doing? –Jimmy Kimmel
The Library of Congress is home to some of the most important documents in history including the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and now it will so include tweets from Gretchen44, who likes strawberry balsamic vinegar on her salad. –Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump is hosting a debate in Iowa, but so far Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum are the only presidential candidates to RSVP. Rick Santorum actually requested a plus one — you know, so he could bring all of his supporters. –Jimmy Fallon
This week, a designer in New York unveiled a bottle of perfume that costs $1 million. Yeah, a million bucks for a few ounces of liquid. Which explains its name: “Starbucks.” –Jimmy Fallon
Dr. Phil just revealed that he helped perform his own vasectomy 30 years ago. In related news, never make small talk in an elevator with Dr. Phil. –Jimmy Fallon
This month marks the 19th anniversary of the text message. Man, I can’t believe that 20 years ago, we didn’t have the ability to write someone and let them know, “Hey, just called you.” –Jimmy Fallon
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