Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
North Korean leader Kim Jong II passed away last week at 69. In lieu of flowers, the flower requests that you send instructions on how to make nuclear weapons.
It is unclear how Kim Jong II died but there are many theories. The most likely theory is that he died of an overdose of sunglasses.
News was leaked to the LA Times and the NY Times that the Tiger Woods’ divorce settlement netted his wife almost $100 million. The source of the leak was believed to be Kobe Bryant’s wife.
According to a survey “whatever” was the most annoying word of 2011. I can think of many words way more annoying than that, such as Congress, Obamacare, etc. You get the idea.
Scientists are warning that the world supply of frankincense could be cut in half over the next 15 years. Presumably, this is because they are expecting an increase in Wise Men. Women are doubting this theory.
According to a new survey, 85% of grandparents are in favor of legalizing marijuana. That is not surprising at all since many of the people that are now grandparents were pot head back in the 60s and 70s.
According to a new study, Christmas is the best time to tell loved ones that they are overweight. The theory here is that they will probably already be fighting anyway at the family get-together.
A Congressman from Wisconsin apparently thought he’d put that theory to the test and said that Michelle Obama had a big butt. It did not go over well. The flaw in his thinking is that she is a Democrat and he is a Republican, so they are not loved ones.
Yet another study says that joggers who drink coffee before they jog can run a lot faster, especially if they got the coffee at Starbucks because then their pockets were a lot lighter.
Ex-Congressman, Anthony Weiner, who resigned after sexually explicit photographs and emails of himself were revealed, had a baby son with his wife last week. He posted picture of him on Facebook with the title, “My little Weiner.”
No comments:
Post a Comment