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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman:
A British airline is apologizing to Jewish passengers on a flight from Israel where the only food was ham melts and bacon baguettes.The Jewish passengers couldn't eat it because it was pork. The other passengers couldn't eat it because it was British food. –Jay Leno
George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy.-Conan O’Brien
A year ago Michelle Obama started her campaign to end childhood obesity called "Let's Move."I think Americans have been very clear in their answer, "No." –Jimmy Fallon
A Russian airline is hiring clowns, actors and musicians to entertain passengers during flights. When I'm on a stuffy plane with crying babies, my first thought always is, "There should be clowns here." -Jimmy Fallon
Police arrested three men in Malaysia for stealing over 700,000 condoms. Police described the suspects as "overly optimistic." – Conan O’Brien
Bill Clinton recently revealed that he only sent two e-mails while he was President. Then he added, "And it turns out those pills are just a scam." –Jimmy Fallon
Presidents Day is being celebrated across the country. Shouldn't we also have a day for Congress? When they can kick back and not worry about getting anything done. Oh wait... –Craig Ferguson
The king of Saudi Arabia announced that he is giving his people $37 billion in subsidies and payments. It’s not a stimulus package, it’s a “don’t overthrow me” package. –Jay Leno
Economists say that with all this unrest, gas prices could rise to $5 a gallon. The good news is that instead of this money going to ruthless America-hating dictators, it will go to ruthless America-hating democracies. –Jay Leno
Boeing has unveiled the new 787, the longest passenger plane in the world. It seats 500 passengers comfortably — or 2,800 passengers uncomfortably. –Jay Leno
There’s a proposal in San Francisco to ban circumcision. Apparently, the proposal has the support of 100 percent of newborn males. –Jay Leno
A new poll shows that Donald Trump could beat President Obama in 2012. The poll was taken by Trump Polls International. –Conan O’Brien
A Japanese tech company is developing a wristwatch device to help seniors monitor their health. They say it’s a vast improvement from what they used to use: a countdown clock. –Conan O’Brien
Larry King announced that he’ll do a national stand-up comedy tour. It will be called the “Almost Def Comedy Jam.” –Conan O’Brien
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. He said he wants to keep prostitution where it belongs — in Washington, D.C. –Jimmy Fallon
The budget airline EasyJet apologized to Jewish passengers for only serving pork on a flight to Israel. Still, that wasn’t nearly as bad as their in-flight entertainment: a Mel Gibson double feature. –Jimmy Fallon
"Happy Presidents Day. Or, as it's being called in the Middle East, Happy Overthrow Your Presidents Day." –Conan O'Brien
"Yemen's president says that despite protests, he won't leave office. His exact words were, 'The Oscars are Sunday, I have a widescreen TV at the palace. You do the math.'" –Conan O'Brien
"They're calling the Middle East uprisings the 'Jasmine Revolution.' Historians say it's the first revolution that could double as a new scent of Febreze." –Conan O'Brien
"They say President Lincoln once walked three miles to pay back a penny. That makes him the last president to do anything about the debt." –David Letterman
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