A Lack of Support with Tech Support

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Recently, I had a reason to call tech support about an issue with a new computer component I had bought.  To say they did not provide support would be offering them the supreme compliment.  More accurately, though, they were the exact opposite of support.  If the support they gave me was like a jock strap, after I was done with them my testicles would have been hanging down to my knees.  For a woman if they were a bra, when they were done her breasts would be down at her waist. (You probably got the idea after the jock strap example; I just felt a need to mention breasts.)

I don’t think I’ll be calling any tech support people for a while unless I’m in the mood to destroy something and I feel I need some motivation to get the job done.

When I started out there were four other computers in the house that were working.  With the help of tech support at the end of a frustrating hour and a half phone call we managed to knock out those computers and my own, accidentally ordered 6 pizzas on line and nearly starting a new World War.  Maybe not that but I did want to declare war on that company for letting this guy work there.

I have to take some of the blame too because I should have caught on after the third time that this evil genius went to ask his manager what to do that this guy had a lot more evil to him than genius.  To be fair it may not have been as much evil as stupid.  Next time I’ll be leery when tech support needs to ask their tech support how to do something.

My next clue to hang up immediately without asking anymore questions was when I asked him what do I do with this brown thing and he said, “Oh, you mean the doohickey?”

I did learn something, besides not to call tech support anymore, and that was that tech support personnel do not know how to deal with customers when they have near death experiences.  While I was gasping for air all he could suggest was that I restart.  And he didn’t mean the computer.  He wanted me to restart by calling someone else and leave him alone.  I would have been happy to do that except I didn’t want to call another tech support guy and find out that I was on some kind of tech support candid camera.  I was already afraid I had made the list of most gullible customers that they all joke and laugh about while they sit around watching Star Trek repeats on their break.

When the other computer operators in my house found out what happened you could say I was not a popular person.  The story ended well though when we paid an actual computer expert to fix things up.  Afterward I heard my girlfriend say that she actually learned a lot from seeing how it got fixed.  So I said, “So you could say that what I did was actually a good thing then.”…And I was so close to being out of the doghouse.  Like tech support, I need to learn when to stop talking.

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