Here are the very best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including: Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman, and Conan O'Brien:
"Experts now say the protests in Egypt were started by bloggers. Bloggers started the whole thing on Facebook. In fact, the No. 1 choice to replace Mubarak — Justin Bieber." –Jay Leno
"Chicago is expecting 20 inches of snow. Rahm Emanuel says he’s happy he doesn’t really live there." –Jay Leno
"The owners of Chick-fil-A restaurants were very anti-gay-marriage, but now they’ve reversed their stand, In fact, today they introduced the Chick-on-Chick-fil-A." –Jay Leno
"Astronomers say that 8 years from today an asteroid has a 1 in 200,000 chance of hitting Earth. About the same chance Sarah Palin has of becoming President, so it’s pretty scary either way." –Jay Leno
"Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak announced he won't run for another term. The bad news is that this spring he's taking over for Regis." – Conaan O’Brien
"There was a huge snowstorm in New York yesterday. I was complaining about it all day to my friend in Egypt." –Jimmy Fallon
"A spokesperson for Sen. John McCain said he won't meet Snooki this week even though she was in D.C. Do you really need to announce that you're not meeting with Snooki? That's like Obama going, 'Welcome to the State of the Union. I'd just like to let everyone know that I will not be having brunch with Amber from 'Teen Mom' tomorrow.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Egypt has responded to hundreds of thousands of protesters by shutting down the internet. Listen, if you want people to stay home and do nothing, turn the internet back on." -Conan O’Brien
"Celebrities are tweeting about Egypt. Larry King has offered to go there and speak personally to the Pharaoh." –Conan O'Brien
"The bookies have put the odds out for this weekend. The Packers are slightly favored over the Steelers and the rioters are slightly favored over President Mubarak." –Jay Leno
"I haven't seen this many protestors in Cairo since the last time they announced Brendan Fraser was doing another one of those 'Mummy' movies." –Jay Leno
"Vice President Joe Biden has suggested to people out of work to just 'hang in there.' What a difference two years makes: Remember 'hope and change'? Now it's 'hang in there.'" –Jay Leno
"The Pentagon has announced a 3-month timetable for gay to be able to serve openly in the military. They want it so coincide with the season finale of 'Glee.'" –Jay Leno
"Egypt has shut off cell phones and the internet. It’s like visiting your parents’ house." –David Letterman
"Happy birthday to Dick Cheney. I think he's 70 years old. Dick celebrated by shooting a cake." –David Letterman
"They had a party at Dick Cheney's house and he invited 12 people to his birthday party. At midnight he told them, 'Only 11 of you will be leaving with a heart.'" –David Letterman
"Bristol Palin announced she has a new boyfriend. No word yet on their new baby’s name." –Jimmy Fallon
"The Egyptian protesters are using Facebook to get away from the police, but the police are using Farmville to build fences to keep the protesters in." –Jay Leno
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