Here are some funny observations made after watching the news and current events over the last week:
Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves attractive, according to a survey. Men, on the other hand, consider 99% of all women attractive when they are naked.
At first, Rahm Emanuel, the former White House Chief of Staff, who had a reputation for being mean, was kicked off the ballot for mayor of Chicago by the courts. They said he wasn’t mean enough…he was mean, but not “Chicago mean.”
Then 3 days later the high court of Illinois ruled that he could run for mayor of Chicago, proving again that there is justice in Chicago, no matter how much it costs.
The NFL wide receiver who had changed his name to Ochocinco, after originally being known as Chad Johnson, is changing his name again. This time it’ll be “NO ONE CARES ANYMORE.”
A psychiatrist got his cat a diploma to be a shrink on the Internet just to prove it could be done. Sadly, the cat is now one of the most qualified psychiatrists in the country.
There is a reported shortage of strippers in Dallas where the Super Bowl is being held. They are reportedly hiring Tiger Woods to help recruit some of his old girlfriends to work there this week.
And speaking of Tiger Woods, work on the Tiger Woods resort in Dubai has been halted due to the economy. Apparently, they were working on an orgy room and they had the workers pull out. I believe the technical term is workus interuptus.
Charlie Sheen checked himself into rehab, but not to be rehabilitated, he was just looking for Lindsay Lohan so they could party together.
Taco Bell is fighting back against the lawsuit that claims they only have 35% meat in their advertised meat, the rest is fillers. They have a new slogan coming out, “There are only so many bugs we can sweep off the floor to pump up the percentage of our meat.”
The IRS oversight board conducted a survey and found that 87%of Americans think that cheating on taxes is not acceptable. We know that the IRS would never lie or fudge their stats. We can take their word to the bank just as we could trust Bill Clinton when he said, “I did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” (For the record I have never cheated on my taxes!!!)
No comments:
Post a Comment