Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
Since President Obama’s last economic plan was unpopular he has come up with a new economic policy: Ask China.
Obama has said his jobs bill will create 1.9 billion new jobs. But I’m betting that’s a number he made up sort of like when a kid says, “When I grow up I’m going to make a combalambobazillion dollars.”
In 2009 Obama threw out the first pitch in the Major League Baseball All-Star game. In just a little over a year we’ll get to throw him out.
In a recent survey 4 out of 10 people said they would prefer eating bacon to having sex. There was a caveat though, for most of the four of ten who preferred bacon, the closest they had come to having sex recently was getting screwed by the government.
Now that the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is officially retired by the military they have decided, as a recruiting ploy, to make pink rifles optional.
Also to attract more gays to the military they are thinking of changing the color of the uniforms from khaki to “something less gauche.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger is writing his memoir, tentatively entitled “Total Recall.” There is also a subtitle which will be “…Except for that Thing with the Maid.”
The satellite that scientist were saying was going to hit earth has apparently plunged into the Pacific Ocean, so it was reported that no major damage had occurred. Tell that to the fish in the Pacific Ocean.
Scientists think they can locate the exact spot where the satellite hit by looking for a large amount of fish excrement, which would have been scared out of the fish when it landed.
Michael Vick, the quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles, is complaining about referees not giving him fair calls. Apparently the refs are dog lovers.
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