Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Economy and the Three Stooges

I hate to do this to the Three Stooges, who are actually respected in their field, that being slap-stick comedy, but I’m going to have to compare the Obama administration’s handling of the economy to the Three Stooges.  My apologies to the original Stooges because I’m sure they would do a better job of handling the economy than the current stooges are doing.

President Obama would be Moe, Timothy Geithner would be Larry and I’ve anointed Bernanke as Curly just because he is bald and I can imagine him lying on the floor running in a circle yelling, “Moe, Larry, cheese.  Moe, Larry, cheese,” every time he has an uncontrollable urge for cheese.  (Or in this case the cheese would be a stimulus.)  Of course, Joe Biden would be Shemp because he just never fit in and no one really ever liked that guy.

I can just hear one of the meetings with the three of them in the Oval Office:

Obama (as Moe):  Okay, you knuckleheads, what do you think about another one of those Quantitative Easings?

Geithner (as Larry):  I don’t know, this is the 20th one, they don’t seem to be working anymore.

Obama (as Moe) to Bernanke (as Curly): What do you think? Should we do it?

Bernanke (as Curly):  Why Soitenly!  Ynuk, ynuk, ynuk.

Then after it fails again for the 20th time Obama and Geithner are in the Oval Office putting the blame on Bernanke by Geithner pulling on Bernanke’s ear with a wrench, while Obama is lifting Bernanke by the nose with a crow bar.

It’s something to marvel at that Moe, who was always so angry, would still probably pull better poll marks that Obama does today.  And that is because if Moe were here now and he saw what Obama was doing he’d call him a knucklehead and give him a double poke in the eyes and everybody would probably cheer for him.

Moe did always have a habit of acting tough but when there was any real danger he would run away with the other Stooges which is why Obama is the perfect modern day Moe.  What he was essentially saying to Congress about the debt ceiling and raising taxes was, “Why I oughta…”  And then when things got tough he and the other stooges turned and ran away as they were heard to say, “yneh, yneh, yneh...”

Here is another scenario from the Oval Office Back from when the major banks were about to go bankrupt:

Obama (as Moe):  What are we going to do now?

Geithner (as Larry):  It’s just too big to fail.

Obama (as Moe):  We’re not talking about your head, you know.

Bernanke (as Curly):  I think he’s right.  We should drop money from helicopters if we have to. (Steve’s note:  Sadly, that really does sound like something the Three Stooges would say rather than the guy in charge of the Fed, but he actually did say those words.)

Obama (as Moe):  Okay, you knuckleheads better be right or you’re in big trouble.

Months later, after their bailout failed miserably, there is a lot of eye gouging and hitting in the head… you can imagine that scene if you’ve ever seen the Three Stooges.

Obama, Geithner and Bernanke are constantly telling us they have the answers to fix the economy and each time it gets worse.  Bernanke claims to be an expert and a student of the Depression but if the three of them became more expert on the Three Stooges instead, our economy would probably be in a lot better shape right now.  Luckily, everybody already ignores Shemp (Biden) anyway.

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