Here are some more very humorous quotes from a variety of different people:
If Harry Potter's so magical, why can’t he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn't need a broomstick to cling onto.
Frankie Boyle
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra
I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
Oscar Wilde- Lady Windermere's Fan
I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.
Steve Martin
It's a scientific fact. For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.
Truman Capote
Bond: That looks like a woman's gun.
Largo: Do you know a lot about guns, Mr. Bond?
Bond: No, I know a little about women.
Bond: You’re not my type.
Girl: Why, cause I have half a brain?
Bond: No, cause you’re single.
Casino Royal
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Addams Family Values
The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Charles Pierce
I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out.
Dolly Parton
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
No comments:
Post a Comment