Here are some funny New Year's resolutions that I'm guessing might have been made by some famous people this year:
President Obama has sworn off any new tax cuts and has promised his liberal base he would attend tax cutter's anonymous.
To his new non-partisan fans Obama has pledged no new stimulus packages.
Last one for Obama, he has promised to not add any more new personalities to his Schizophenia. (The current ones include centrist, non-partisan, Muslim, Christian,Kenyan, American, communist, socialist and liberal, et. al.)
Hillary Clinton has resolved to never be seen in public in anything but a pants suit. (Okay, she doesn't like to make new resolutions so she just carries them over from one year to the next, e.g. "keep an eye on Bill, he may be cheating," is one she's had since they've been married.)
Larry King, now that he no longer has his show, has resolved to spend more time with his family. In other words, he wants to have sex with other family members, not just his sister-in-law.
Al Gore has resolved to no longer be boring. (Oops! Another resolution that never made it past January 1st.)
Credit card companies have resolved to no longer be arbitrary in their decisions to cancel people's credit or raise interest rates. From now on they will simply make all their decisions with the flip of a coin.
Ben Bernake, since dropping money out of helicopters has not worked metaphorically, has vowed to literally drop money out of helicopters.
Congress has vowed to take on the really big issues such as a playoff series for college football and take on those little pesky issues like war, the economy and jobs when they can find the time.
Lindsay Lohan has resolved to write a new book this year entitled, Sobriety for the Insane.
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