Here are some jokes based on news over the last week:
According to the Pentagon Al-Qaeda is in financial ruin. It’s so bad that when they filed their income tax this year they got money back from an earned income credit.
Al-Qaeda is having such a tough time financially that they layed off all their contracted suicide bombers and now are only hiring temps.
Kate Gosselin has said recently that she regrets things that she has said to Jon…highest on the list I’m sure was, “Okay, let’s get married.”
Lady Gaga has announced recently that she is celibate. This is likely in honor of April being the official STD Month.
Larry King has filed for divorce from his seventh wife, apparently this was after having cheated on his wife with her younger sister. Rumor had it that he has been a long time mentor of Tiger Woods and Jesse James.
Obama did his taxes last week and he was very happy when he learned he could claim the banks and car makers as dependents. When he told Joe Biden, Joe said, “That’s a big f___ing deal.”
And finally…A recent survey says that 35% of men are turned off by women with fake boobs. The survey does fail to mention that the men were asked this question in the company of their wives. Another 30% gave no opinion to the question. With these men their wives were standing close enough that they didn’t want to take a chance.
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