Here are some funny quotes from author/comedian Robert Benchly. He died in 1945 which goes to show you comedy is timeless.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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