Today we will attempt to go where no man has gone before (and after we’re done may never ever want to do so again.) You are about to enter the DEM-ZONE.
Alert readers are probably thinking, “What the hell is the DEM-ZONE and why would I want to enter it.”
My answer, using the best cryptic voice I can muster, is, “Ha,ha,ha,haaaa.” (Actually that was a way of stalling while I try to come up with a good answer.) “The DEM-ZONE is the mind of the liberal democratic congressman, a dangerous and mysterious place.” (Now moving from the cryptic voice to a little bit of a wimpy voice) “Plus…I just kinda thought it would be a fun thing to do.”
I will be your guide as we go through the tour. As we enter, there’s actually a lot of empty space in here and where there is stuff it seems to be all cluttered up. Aha, there is our first area of substance. The object looks to be a printing press of some kind…oh, I see, they are printing money and then the thing right next to that is a furnace with a guy throwing money right off the printing press into the furnace. Upon closer inspection I see a plaque that says, ”Invented by Al Gore.”
My only assumption can be that Al invented this money burning device (or at least took credit for it) so that it would cause global warming, and he could take credit for discovering that. Plus, let’s not forget his Internet invention too. Now, Al Gore’s mind would be too scary of a place to go into. Can you imagine some of the freaky science fiction going on in there?
Anyway, back to our tour. The next thing I see seems to be very similar to one of the scenes at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland where a pirate is chasing one of the townswomen around and around in a circle. Except in the DEM-ZONE it is a Democratic congressman chasing a skirt around and around in a circle.
To be fair, there are some Republicans waiting in line for that ride as well. There seems to be some alternatives to that little ride that a few of the Republicans are going to. For example, there is a door to a strip club and also a door to a bathroom stall. Maybe these different party congressmen are not so different after all, unfortunately.
Next, we see a hospital. Interestingly enough, it is surrounded by a drug factory, a casket factory and a cemetery. Not too surprisingly there are a lot of people from those industries lined up to put money in the congressman’s back pocket. So much for the healthcare bill.
I think I’ve had enough of this tour, but I should note as we leave the DEM-ZONE that there is a statue of Obama in there. Funny, but someone seems to have painted a Hitler type mustache on him, either a Republican or one of the Democrats that he pissed off did it while no one was looking. Anyway, all the democratic congressman are on their knees bowing to Obama. Oh wait, there are two people behind the statue as well… Oh, I see, it’s Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, they are kissing a location of the statue that I’d rather not mention.
Wow, I’m glad that’s done. I feel a little slimy and dirty after that trip. Kind of sick too. But I think I’ll let that be my own secret lest someone tries to heal me up with Obamacare. I think I’ll just settle for a nice hot bath.
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