Here are the best late night jokes of the week from Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel:
"Today President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta." –Jay Leno
"Did you see Donald Trump today? He said, 'I'm very proud of myself because I accomplished something no one else was able to accomplish.' So basically Trump is taking credit for President Obama proving that everything Trump has been saying for the last year is a bunch of crap." –Jay Leno
"After releasing the birth certificate today, he said 'There's work to be done, there are real problems in this country, and we don't have time for this silliness.' Then he and Michelle got on a plane and flew to Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah." –Jay Leno
"It’s the 75th anniversary of the introduction of Social Security checks. For the younger viewers who don’t know what a Social Security check is, you’ll never see one in your lifetime, so don’t worry about it." –Jay Leno
"The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless." –Jay Leno
"Levi Johnston is now writing a book about the Palin family. He's not writing it himself. He's using a ghost moron." –Jay Leno
"Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called 'I Need Money' by Levi Johnston.” –Jimmy Kimmel
"Fifty percent of Americans think Donald Trump would make a terrible president. The other 50 percent think he would make an awful president." –David Letterman
"President Obama released his birth certificate today, proving once and for all that he was born in the United States. Yep, the certificate clearly shows that he was born on the all-American street of Kalanianaole Highway at the Kapiolani Hospital in Oahu." -Jimmy Fallon
"Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama’s birth certificate to make sure that it’s real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump’s hair." –Jimmy Fallon
"A new poll shows that President Obama's approval rating is down to 41 percent. A lot of people that voted for him now say they liked him a lot better when he was a Democrat." –Jay Leno
"The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe Biden." –Jay Leno
"Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson has announced that he will run for president in 2012. His campaign slogan: 'Even I've never heard of me.'" –Jay Leno
"House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama needs to grow up. And then he burst into tears." –Jay Leno
"The Libyan government says Moammar Gadhafi is still in 'high spirits,' even though his compound was destroyed this week. Most people would be devastated, but here's the thing — he's insane." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. It was a little awkward though. Donald Trump showed up and demanded to see each egg's birth certificate." -Jimmy Fallon
"New York just passed a law that allows same-sex conjugal visits for prisoners. Isn’t that pretty much what prison is?" –Jimmy Fallon
"St. Louis International Airport was hit directly by a tornado. They determined that tornadoes are no longer a danger, and now we can go back to being endangered by sleeping air traffic controllers." –Jimmy Kimmel
"New Jersey had a governor, married, who decided he was a homosexual, and he was having so much fun being a homosexual that he didn’t want to be governor any more, and now he wants to become a Catholic priest. I’m just going to leave the punchline up to you." –David Letterman
"Every time a kid found an egg, Michelle Obama would make them trade it in for a low cholesterol Egg Beater. They had about 6,000 eggs, and you know who decorated them? Ex-cons. It’s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress." –Jay Leno
"There's now a nationwide shortage of Attention Deficit Disorder drugs. The FDA says it doesn't know how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't paying attention." –Jay Leno
"Donald Trump says he's President Obama's worst nightmare. That's not true. Having to make a decision is Obama's worst nightmare." –Jay Leno
"The Federal Trade Commission says for the 11th year in a row the biggest consumer complaint is identity theft. Which led President Obama to say, "That's why you should never show ANYONE your birth certificate." –Jay Leno
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