Here are the best jokes of the past week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien:
"People are concerned that the new airport security scanners could lead to pictures of their genitals ending up on the Internet. Apparently no one has told them that without pictures of genitals, there would be no Internet." –Conan O'Brien
"They just had the groundbreaking ceremony of the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Dallas. It's easy to get into the building, but then you spend 10 years trying to find an exit strategy." –Jimmy Fallon
"Dick Cheney attended the ceremony. It's fitting for Cheney to be at the library. He spent eight years telling Bush to be quiet." –Jimmy Fallon
"Actually, when speaking about Bush, Dick Cheney said that Americans can tell a decent, good-hearted guy when they see him. Then he was like, 'Let me know if you do. I need that heart.'"–Jimmy Fallon
"The day before Thanksgiving is National Opt-Out Day, where people are being asked to boycott the TSA's full-body scanners. Sponsors of the event say people shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable while traveling. That's what Thanksgiving with your family is for." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama is doing an interview with Barbara Walters that will air the day after Thanksgiving. Walters will ask Obama how he plans to stop the fighting in the Middle East, while he'll ask her how she plans to stop the fighting on 'The View.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"'The Unemployed American' is in the running for 'Time' magazine's 'Man of the Year.' That must be discouraging, to be on the cover of 'Time' and still no one will hire you." –Jimmy Fallon
"Sarah Palin's new show is a huge hit and producers are saying that no endangered species were harmed — except for the Democrats." –David Letterman
"President Obama has a children's book. It's called, 'How the Grinch Stole the Midterm Elections.'" –David Letterman
"It was bad enough when the TSA agents would go through your underwear in your luggage. Now they're going through your underwear while you're wearing it." –Jay Leno
"Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee." –Jay Leno
"The House Ethics Committee has found Rep. Charles Rangel guilty of financial misconduct. It wasn't easy. They had to go way outside Washington to find anyone that knew anything about ethics." –Jay Leno
"I don't think Rangel gets it. Like, today, he said to pay his fine he's going to have to accept bribes now." –Jay Leno
"President Obama is back from his 10-day Asian tour, and I haven’t seen a trip reviewed this badly since the Griswalds went to Vegas." –Jon Stewart
"The new Oxford dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's made-up word 'refudiate' the 2010 word of the year. When asked for her reaction to the dubious honor, Palin said she would not 'dignitate' it with a response." –Jay Leno
"Nancy Pelosi has now been elected the new House minority leader. She was smiling from ear to ear, which is pretty impressive considering how far her ears have been pulled back." –Jay Leno
"If Rep. Charles Rangel is found guilty by the ethics committee, they said they could expel him, but experts say that is not likely. See, that would set a bad precedent in Washington, punishing the guilty." –Jay Leno
"This will be a rough week for President Obama. He's got a lame duck Congress, he has to pardon a turkey, he has to eat crow, and the Chinese just flipped him the bird. It's been a fowl week." –Jay Leno
"The lame duck Congress started today. Not to be confused with before the election — that was a lame-ass excuse for a Congress." –Jay Leno
"President Obama wrote a children's book. If only one person reads it, it will be double the number of people that read the healthcare bill." –Jay Leno
"Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration thing." –Jimmy Fallon
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