Here are some very funny jokes from the late night comedians about the new TSA procedure of feeling up airline passengers from Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon and more:
"Have you heard the TSA's new slogan? 'We handle more junk than eBay.'" -Jay Leno
"TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish." –David Letterman
"The TSA, it's our business to touch yours." –from a "Saturday Night Live" skit spoofing the TSA and their overly aggressive "junk-touching" pat-down procedures with an ad portraying TSA agents as sex workers
"I was over at Burbank airport and you could tell it's Thanksgiving. I saw a TSA agent probing a guy with a turkey baster." –Jay Leno
"The TSA has changed airport security guidelines. Now you can have an extensive body pat-down or a naked scan. I think I speak for everybody when I say, "Hey, why can't we have both?" –David Letterman
"People are concerned that the new airport security scanners could lead to pictures of their genitals ending up on the Internet. Apparently no one has told them that without pictures of genitals, there would be no Internet." –Conan O'Brien
"The TSA says they will allow pilots to pass through security more easily than before. I'd be happy if the pilots just went through the breathalyzer." –Jay Leno
"If you believe the news, everyone is horrified by the security measures. Rush Limbaugh on the radio yesterday told President Obama, 'Keep your hands off my tea bag.' Don't worry, Rush, even special ops couldn't find your tea bag." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Hillary Clinton said on CBS that she would not submit to a pat-down, to which Bill Clinton said, 'Tell me about it.'" –Jay Leno
"The major pilots unions are complaining about the use of full-body scanners and these pat-down techniques at the airport. Pilots say the searches make it almost impossible for them to smuggle in liquor." –Jay Leno
"The day before Thanksgiving is National Opt-Out Day, where people are being asked to boycott the TSA's full-body scanners. Sponsors of the event say people shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable while traveling. That's what Thanksgiving with your family is for." –Jimmy Fallon
"This year marks the first Thanksgiving in which travelers will get molested before they get to their uncle's house." -Seth Meyers
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