There are many words that have brand new definitions in the last ten years and many new words that have been coined in that time. If someone has been in a coma during that period and just woke up they would hear these terms and think that we had developed a new language. They would be correct.
There is Twitter, tweeting, blogging, Facebook, friends, followers, Farmville, poking and going viral to name a few. I’ve been on Facebook for over a year and I still don’t actually know what poking is, but I definitely don’t get the idea it’s something I want some other guy to do to me.
There was a time when writing on someone’s wall meant somebody put graffiti on your home. Now it means something else ( I don’t know why but I suddenly feel like I’m Andy Rooney the way this article is starting out.)
Now if someone “writes on your wall” it means a conversation that too often goes like this:
“I just got in an elevator”
“Any good music?”
“No, but someone just farted”
Actually, that’s not fair. That is actually much more entertaining than many Facebook conversations that are available for all of their “friends” to see.
On Facebook there is a relationship status that you fill out that has caused untold upset, for example, this happy couple after she inspects his Facebook page:
Girlfriend: We’ve been dating for a month. Why does your relationship status still say “single”?
Boyfriend: Oh yeah, just didn’t get around to changing it.
Girlfriend: Do you consider I’m your girlfriend?
Boyfriend: Yes.
Girlfriend: Don’t you want to tell people you have a girlfriend?
Boyfriend: Well, uh, at the moment, not so much.
Men are just not good at improvising on relationship questions and that ends that one.
Not that people were already great communicators but Twitter has forced people to be able to communicate in 140 characters or less. This may be a happy thought if you are a mime but if you actually want to get a thought across it is not always the best .
There are definite signs that you’re spending too much time on your computer or IPhone. One is if you are lucky enough to have a live conversation with someone and they tell a joke and instead of laughing you say “LOL” that would be a bad sign for you. Also, if you are in the middle of having sex and you tell your mate to just scroll down a little farther (on your body) that would not be a good sign either. If you are looking forward to the release of IPhone 5 like it will be a religious experience then you are definitely in trouble.
These days people are getting so fat they need to put up multiple profiles on Facebook to accommodate themselves. I don’t know, maybe it’s one for each ass cheek.
Even the Queen of England just put up her own Facebook page, but no one is allowed to look directly at it and definitely no poking allowed.
Even though I have had a cell phone for about ten years I have steadfastly resisted texting. I just always preferred an actual conversation. But it looks like that era will be coming to an end. A loved one has been insisting I take up texting and it looks like I will succumb. It’s either that or I’ll have to change my Facebook relationship status.
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