The day after the mid-term election President Obama looked into his magic mirror and asked it, “Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the most liberal of them all?”
Nancy Pelosi’s reflection flicked into the mirror, and the mirror said, “Get out of there you loser.” (Not the most forgiving mirror.) The mirror didn’t break, but Nancy’s face cracked a bit.
Then Harry Reid’s face came into the mirror, “Oh please, yeah, you’re as liberal as anybody but you’re more boring than Al Gore. GET OUT OF HERE!” Harry disappeared (author’s note – if only that were true.)
Obama’s reflection came into the mirror and he got his big Obama smile that suckered so many people into believing him two years ago. “I KNEW IT WAS ME!”
“Of course it was you, you jackass, you’re so liberal you can’t even walk on the right side of the street,” the mirror said. “But I’m really disappointed in how you lost the confidence of the people and made us lose the House.”
“Yeah, poor Nancy, huh?”
“Screw Nancy!” The mirror said. I don’t care about Nancy! Nancy was just a pawn…and by the way, I mean that literally. That bitch has such a plastic looking face she could actually be a chess piece.”
“But what could I have done differently? Our policies don’t really work.”
“Well, for one thing you can stop being the master of the obvious. We know they don’t work, you idiot, but we have to make the people believe that maybe they could.” The mirror chuckles and then says mostly to himself, “I still can’t believe that anyone would actually fall for the ‘print money and give it away to get out of debt’ gambit.”
Obama smiled proudly, “Yeah, that one was my idea.”
”You can wipe the smile off your face, you Kenyan reject ” the mirror snapped at him. “We won’t be able to use that one again. Not with those evil ‘elephant men’ running the House. They’re always trying to stop our socialistic and communistic ideas. Why would someone do that?”
“I guess we haven’t gotten the people apathetic enough for their own good.”
“Ya Think?” The mirror shook its frame in disgust. “Look here, ‘Cars for Clunkers’ brain…and just so you know, you’re an idiot for letting Biden talk you into that one. We’re still living that one down. Here’s what we’re going to do.”
Obama’s ear perked up more than ever to listen closely, making him look like Dumbo the Elephant, which really pissed off the mirror because it reminded him of elephants again, but he said nothing about it.
“The only potentially workable strategy right now is going back to blaming Bush and Cheney for all the problems. Cheney is the only politician who is disliked as much as you so we’ve got to go with what we have.”
“Yes, sir,” said Obama. “I’ll get right on it and start booking myself on talk shows. Maybe I’ll have a cup of tea while I plan it out.”
“TEA, TEA?!?!? GET OUT OF HERE YOU OPRAH WANNABE”
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