There is so much to be thankful during the Christmas season. Oh wait, I’ve got my holidays mixed up we gave thanks at Thanksgiving. Anyway, I can do it now too. I can do what I want, it’s my article.
For men, we are thankful that we don’t have to shop for months for Christmas gifts like women do. Although we are getting into the man’s peak Christmas shopping season, Christmas Eve. One reason we put off our shopping until the last minute is men hate to waste effort. We figure if we die before Christmas we’ll have spent all that time shopping and we won’t even get any credit for it.
In our defense we are really just following in the footsteps of the three wise men, who at the last minute hopped onto their camels to spread some Christmas joy and refused to ask directions on how to get where they were going.
They had no gifts so they just planned on re-gifting Jesus some gold that had been collecting dust in their safe for the last several years. Then when they were almost at Bethlehem, which is a suburb of Allentown, Pennsylvania, one of the wise men, I think it was Moe, said to Larry and Curly, “We can’t show up with just gold, we have to make it at least look like we put some thought into the gift.” Obviously he didn’t know what the price of gold was going to soar to 2,010 years later.
Then Larry said, “But there’s nothing open, it’s Christmas Eve.”
Then suddenly Curly said, “Ooh, ooh, there’s a frankincense and myrrh shop over there with its light still on.”
So the three wise men went into the shop run by a guy named Scrooge, who else would be working on Christmas Eve, and got the frankincense and myrrh for which Scrooge overcharged them because they had no other option.
Then they got to the manger and gave the gifts to baby Jesus. Mary was watching over all of this and shook her head, thinking, “They couldn’t wrap the gifts? Not even a bow?”
Then the three guys were eating over at the snack table and Curly asked Mary, “You got any pudding?” To which Moe punched him in the stomach and slapped in the head for being such a pig. When Larry came to Curly’s defense Moe tried to poke him in the eyes but Larry blocked it and Curly said, “Yuck, yuck, yuck.”
Mary yelled at them, “Stop it. I’ll get some pudding already.” Then she walked over to the fridge and looked inside and thought, “Oh good at least I can get rid of this lousy figgy pudding with these idiots.”
Then there were some carolers that came outside the manger and starting singing, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Mary took it to mean that the three wise men should rest because they traveled so far on their camels but she knew it’s just because they got lost by trying to follow a star because they were too cheap to spring for a good GPS. So with that thought she threw a can of fruit cake at the carolers.
And so many traditions were born on that night.
I guess I got side tracked with my little story there but there are many things to be thankful for at this time of year, most of all, family, friends, love and good life. (And hopefully an occasional laugh by reading darnfunnyonline.com.)
Merry Christmas everybody! Have a great holiday season and may you all flourish and prosper in the new year and beyond!!
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