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Here are the very best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman:
"President Obama went on ESPN to announce his NCAA tournament picks. Or, as Japan put it, 'Really?'" –Jimmy Fallon
"In a speech Obama said women earn 75 cents for each dollar a man makes, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Have you met Todd?'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Al Qaeda has launched its own women’s magazine. I bought a copy, and I tell you right now, those ankles are totally airbrushed." –Jimmy Fallon
"Hillary Clinton visited Egypt today for the first time since the uprising. When asked why she went, Bill Clinton said, "Believe me, if anyone can stop an uprising, it's Hillary." –Jimmy Fallon
"Newt Gingrich explained why he fooled around on his first two wives by saying he loved this country so much that it led him to cheating. He was so passionate about it he had to take his pants off. When I hear the National Anthem I just put my hand over my heart." –Jay Leno
"The situation is deteriorating in Libya and Japan and the stock market is collapsing worldwide. President Obama finally took decisive action. He named Duke, Kansas, Ohio State and Pittsburgh as his Final Four." –Jay Leno
"Surprisingly, March Madness is not that big in the Middle East. Because they have April Madness, May Madness, June Madness, and more." –Jay Leno
"Al-Qaida has now launched a woman's magazine that will have everything from fashion to terror advice. Unfortunately, women are not allowed to read it." –Jay Leno
"President Obama held a meeting on bullying, and he revealed that he himself is bullied every day, by Fox News." –Jay Leno
"Today is the Ides of March, the day on which in 44 B.C. Julius Caesar was stabbed to death by 60 Roman Senators. That could never happen today. We can't get 60 Senators to agree on anything." –Jay Leno
"Life expectancy in the U.S. has risen to a new record of 78.2 years. The bad news is, the average age a person has to work to before they can retire is now 78.3 years." –Jay Leno
I forgot to set my clock forward, so a lot of these jokes may not be funny for another hour. –David Letterman
The NFL and the players’ union are having a lot of trouble agreeing on things. One thing they do agree on is that the Super Bowl halftime show has got to be better. –David Letterman
Al-Qaida is now publishing a magazine for women. They already have one for men, called “Car Bomb and Driver.” –David Letterman
President Obama said he was always getting in trouble when he was in middle school. In fact, Obama said he talked so much during class, the teacher had to take away his teleprompter. –Jimmy Fallon
A new study found that stress and hard work can actually lead to a longer life. Or as the Kardashians are reporting it, “Please pray for us.” –Jimmy Fallon
Lady Gaga said she used to live in an apartment that was infested with cockroaches. That's what happens when you have a closet full of meat dresses. –Conan O’Brien
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