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Here are some funny observations based on watching the news and following the current events of this past week:
Lady Gaga terminated her business partnership with Target because of rumored disagreements over Gay Rights issues and also because they refused to carry a line of meat dresses.
Cellulose is a food additive from wood that is found in a lot of fast foods. The drug companies are bound to follow suit and start putting it in erectile dysfunction drugs. They’d have the perfect name for the drug …”The Woody”.
A Swedish bank robber was hiding in a bank vault in an elaborate robbery scheme. When he left the vault he accidentally left behind his urine in a glass bottle. You could say he pissed away the whole plan.
A condom maker is now putting an image of Gene Simmons from the rock band Kiss with his tongue unfurled on the condoms. I’m not sure how that would be a turn on for the guy or the girl and it certainly doesn’t look good for Gene Simmons having his tongue wrapped around someone’s male member.
With Charlie Sheen continuing his rants, March Madness, normally about college basketball, takes on a whole new meaning.
A marathon runner is training for an upcoming marathon by eating nothing but McDonald’s food. That pretty much guarantees he’ll be doing a lot of his training as he runs to the bathroom many times throughout the day and also have the runs while he’s in there.
Allegiant Airlines, out of Las Vegas, is giving travelers a chance to gamble on the price of a ticket. If they buy a ticket in advance it could cost more or less at the time of the flight based on the price of oil. Other airlines are thinking of following in this gambling mode and are implementing a price increase or decrease at the time of the flight based on if the pilot shows up drunk or not.
The CEO of Burger King made an offhand remark about British women not being very attractive and the British food not tasting very good. He later apologized saying he was just bitter that the Burger King sales in England are not good, but he doesn’t blame the people. It’s because their teeth are in too bad of shape to chew the food.
After the nuclear leaks from the earthquake in Japan the future of nuclear power doesn’t look good in the rest of the world. On the plus side, as the radiation leaks spread people are going to be saving money on their power bills since they won’t need to turn on their lights as much because everyone is going to start glowing in the dark.
The late Pope John II is going to have a Facebook page. The Facebook PR people are jumping on this saying they are the only social media group approved in heaven.
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