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Here are some funny observations that were made as a result of keeping my eye on the current events:
I saw a headline that said Tiger Woods had a swing app for IPhones and IPads. At first I thought, WOW! Then I realized it was for his golf swing.
The model of the new face for the Ken doll will be a former Iowa football player. They were thinking of using Charlie Sheen’s face because he is so “winning”. But then they would have had to make Barbie a crack using porn star so they decided against it.
I saw another headline that said Katie Couric was catching a ride on Bill Clinton’s plane. I hope that was a literal statement rather than metaphorical because I think Katie is married.
Barry Bonds said he didn’t know he was taking steroids. He saw everybody else’s body parts getting bigger too so he didn’t think it was a big deal. But the thing was, with most people it was their ass, with him it was his head.
NFL football Hall of Famer, Lawrence Taylor, was convicted of having sex with an underage prostitute. He said he didn’t know she was that young and also was quoted saying, “In the world of Prostitution you never know what you are going to get.” (I thought Forrest Gump’s mom said it was in a box of chocolates you never know you’re going to get.) Anyway, this should serve as a lesson to all you “johns” out there, only use hookers who are registered with the Better Business Bureau.
The code name for our war in Libya is “Odyssey Dawn”, which sounds like the name of a porn star. That’s very appropriate because the American people are bound to get screwed in this deal.
After the war is over President Obama is promising the Libyan people hope and change and then he’s going to get them all on Obamacare too.
Last week an air traffic controller at the Reagan National Airport fell asleep on the job. The good news is he wasn’t goofing off, he was just passed out from being drunk.
Lindsay Lohan is dropping her last name. Now she’ll just be known as Lindsay. She wants to drop the association with her father’s last name. It will also make it less she has to remember when she wakes up from a drug induced stupor.
Apparently, there is a new phenomenon called Facebook Depression. I assume this is what happens when you realize you don’t know anything about most of your “friends”, you realize all the work you did on Farmville wasn’t real and getting poked isn’t anything like having sex.
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