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Most every man looks forward to loafing on the weekend after a hard week of work. We look forward to relaxing and doing whatever we darn well please…but then there are married men, who never get to do that because of a list that their spouses like to haunt them with called the dreaded “honey-do” list.
There are men who think they can avoid this when they begin to cohabitate. These are the same men that think the earth is flat, that the Internet is a fad, and they are the geniuses that are holding onto that stock of the buggy whip company because they know it is about to boom.
These chores that we are assigned are things like painting, cleaning out the rain gutters and digging holes to plant new plants. Those are the kind of jobs that you like to see the results of, but doing the jobs themselves are not that much fun. We would prefer it if a job fairy could come by in the middle of the night and get those things done for us.
Why is it wives don’t include things on those “honey-do” lists like blowing stuff up or starting a big bon fire or some other equally fun “man” type of activity? The really cool stuff is left to paid experts. We like to do things where something explodes or there is at least some degree of danger. What male, when he was a young boy, didn’t take a fire cracker and try to blow up an ant hill or something equally destructive, uh, I mean creative? But, I guess the fact that we like to barbeque just because there is fire shows that we have declined in our daringness from the caveman days. So you women might be onto something by not letting us do the things we like (as long as that restriction doesn’t extend to the bedroom as well.)
A typical conversation between a man and a woman about the “honey-do” list might go like this:
Woman: Honey, I need you to do some things around the house this weekend.
Man: Sorry, I already have some things I’m going to do around the house this weekend. They include lying on the sofa with my eyes open, lying on the sofa with my eyes closed and watching sports. And then...Oh, yeah, more lying around.
Woman: Yeah, that’s nice but that’s what you did that last several weekends and you said you were going to be getting to these chores.
Man: …And I plan to, I just never specified a date.
Woman: Let me get this straight. I come home from work and cook and clean, do laundry, ironing and most everything else around the house and you do nothing?
Man: Hmm…yeah, that works for me.
It deteriorates from there as we not only end up doing the work on the list but we also have to pick ourselves up off the floor before doing it. Many men would be totally content spending our weekends staring off into space and timing how long it takes for the drool to drop off of our chins. But, alas, it does not work that way.
I know there are men that do actually enjoy doing these kinds of chores around the house. I’d like to acknowledge their work ethic, as well as invite them all over to my house this weekend.
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