Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, David Letterman and Jon Stewart:
"Comedy people sit around for years hoping for a scandal called 'Weinergate.' And then it happens." –Conan O'Brien
"51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it." –Conan O'Brien
Congressman Weiner reportedly called Bill Clinton to apologize for his behavior. After Bill suggested that Weiner also call Hillary, Weiner said, 'Don't worry, I sent her a text.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Donald Trump said Anthony Weiner is a psycho. So look for him on the next season of 'Celebrity Apprentice.'" –Conan O'Brien|
"What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement? A patent violation?" –Jon Stewart on Anthony Weiner calling to apologize to Bill Clinton, who officiated at his wedding
"Democrats in Congress have been distancing themselves from the Anthony Weiner scandal. Just to be safe, everyone is staying a good 6 to 8 inches away at all times." –Jimmy Fallon
"A new study found that being bored can be good for your brain. Which explains that new campaign slogan, 'Mitt Romney: I'm Good For Your Brain.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke is predicting that the economy will pick up in the second half of the year. So you know what that means: nothing." –Jimmy Fallon
"Sociologists have documented this. Here are the stages of a scandal: First you have the denial, then you have the tearful confession, then it's resignation, and then you appear on 'Dancing With the Stars.'" –David Letterman
"Yesterday President Obama welcomed German Chancellor Angela Merkel to the White House. One embarrassing moment came when Merkel got a phone call from a certain New York congressman asking if she'd like to see his wienerschnitzel." –Jay Leno
"People wonder why Weiner engaged in such reckless behavior. If you wanted people to check out your crotch, go to the airport and go through security like everybody else." –Jay Leno
"Of course, Weiner is now desperately trying to make things better with his wife. You can tell he's sorry. Like today he sent her a picture of his penis with a little sad face on it." –Jay Leno
"President Obama's top economic adviser, a man named Austan Goolsbee, is stepping down: He will be replaced by something a little more effective…the magic 8-ball." –Jay Leno
"President Obama said today he's not concerned about a double dip recession. He's more concerned the recovery we're in is not creating enough jobs. In fact, do you know what you call a recovery that isn't creating enough jobs? A recession." –Jay Leno
"The beautiful star of the TV show 'Mad Men,' January Jones, is pregnant but she will not reveal who the father is. To which John Edwards said, 'Why can't I meet women like this?'" –Jay Leno
"Today the porn star in question – talking about Anthony Weiner – apparently he tried to get her to lie about the messages he sent. But she refused. Good! I'd hate to think a porn star would degrade herself by taking orders from a Congressman." –Craig Ferguson
"This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house." –Jay Leno
"A second woman has come forward now. She says she has over 200 explicit sex messages from the married congressman. She says they're very short messages. Like cocktail wieners." –Jay Leno
"Sarah Palin came under fire for her statements about Paul Revere, and today she made it worse. She said, 'What about Mrs. Paul Revere and her fish sticks?'" –Jay Leno
"Today Moammar Gaddafi said he is going to fight to the death. Works for me." –Jay Leno
"Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you're going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice." –Jimmy Kimmel
"How about that Congressman Weiner? This is the worst congressional scandal all week." –David Letterman
"Weiner wanted to be Mayor of New York City. Good luck with that. Governor, sure." –David Letterman
"It turns out that one of the women Congressman Anthony Weiner was communicating with was a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the porn star said, 'I don't know.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Prince William and his wife Kate have posted an ad for a housekeeper. When he heard this, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, 'So it looks like they do want to start a family.'" –Conan O'Brien
"A new poll shows that President Obama is losing the popularity boost he got after Osama bin Laden's death. Or as Gadhafi's putting it, 'Uh oh.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Lawmakers here in New York have proposed a new program to teach teenagers about the dangers of sexting. Seriously? How about a program to teach New York lawmakers about the dangers of sexting?" –Jimmy Fallon
"It's been a crazy few days. First, Anthony Weiner admitted tweeting that photo of his crotch and John Edwards was indicted for covering up an affair. Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger put it, 'Thank you God! This is the best week ever!'" –Jimmy Fallon
"And I love the way the media reports the story. They say this whole thing started when a lewd photo of a man's crotch was sent to one of Congressman Weiner's Twitter followers. Do they even have to say 'lewd.' I mean, are there tasteful photos of men's crotches?" –Jay Leno
"The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that, and everyone at the White House will be looking for jobs." –Jay Leno
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