With the advent of Weinergate (I was going to say “coming” but we’re talking about politicians so that could have more than one meaning, so I used advent.) you kind of wonder if there are any politicians that are not crooks, pervert, psychos or all of the above…On second thought you may not be wondering at all. You are pretty sure that is the case.
But to be fair, I’ll use the old lawyer joke regarding politicians: It’s the 99% that make the other 1% look bad. So there must be some good ones somewhere. You just have to look really, really, really, really hard. But when you think about it the vast majority of politicians started out as attorneys so it really does all make sense.
I think I have more faith in the Nigerian businessman’s letters that I get in my e-mail box on a daily basis, than I do in politicians. They are certainly more trustworthy. At least you know they are trying to cheat you right up front…I’m talking about the Nigerian businessman now, not the politician, in case there was any doubt.
The current moral of politicians has lead us to campaign slogans that would pervert JFK’s famous quote to “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what I can do for you if you make a ridiculously high campaign donation.”
It’s quite possible that being crazy is one of the qualifications to becoming a politician. For example, Obama was totally qualified with ideas such as Obamacare, spending money to get out of debt, and rewarding banks with bailouts after they helped screw up the economy. If those things don’t qualify someone as crazy nothing will.
I can imagine what it would have been like if Obama had gone into the Lincoln Room of the White House to get advice from the ghost of Honest Abe:
Abe: You’re going to do what??? Are you kidding me?
(I could stop there and it would be a believable conversation, but we’ll carry on.)
Obama: I don’t think I’m really known for my sense of humor except for that time I roasted Donald Trump about that whole birth certificate thing….Snap, Donald!
Abe: By the way, was that birth certificate legit?
Obama: Think about it Abe. I’m the president, if I can get money printed on request, I can certainly get a birth certificate printed whenever I want to.
Abe: Another thing, when I was president I was a nice relaxed speaker and I was famous for my eloquent speaking style. I gotta tell you you’re a little stiff, like you have a tree limb stuck up your ass. And lose the teleprompter. I can only assume you came up with stupid ideas like Obamacare when somebody asked you a question and you didn’t have a scripted answer already prepared.
Obama: Yeah, I’m still trying to think of some way to blame Obamacare on Bush, but I haven’t come up with anything yet.
Abe: How about blaming it on Hillary?
Obama: Good idea.
Abe: Okay, Barack, by the way, again, that name really does sound South African, seriously. You can see why there would be doubters. Anyway, the best advice I can come up with is start to do the opposite of what you are inclined to do. If you think yes, do no. If you think do this, do that instead. You get the idea. With the policies you come up with it’s like you put all the possible bad ideas in the world into a hat and whichever ones you draw from the hat you use.
Obama: (Long pause) So, you’re saying that would be wrong then?
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