Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
1) NBC has apologized for editing out the words “under God” from its coverage of the US Open. Ironically, their execs continue to pray daily for better ratings.
2) Al-Qaeda is running out of money so they had to cut down on their reward in the afterlife from 72 virgins to 3 old whores and 1 transvestite virgin.
3) At Wimbledon, the CEO of the tennis club was complaining about players grunting as they hit the ball, especially the women. Leave it to the conservative English to complain about a woman grunting. For American men, the louder they grunt the more we like it…Oh wait, are we still talking about tennis?
4) Obama has announced that the troops in Afghanistan will be coming home by September 2012. OMG, what a coincidence, that comes right before the election! (This would be much more in the rant category than the joke category, but it had to be said.)
5) Republicans walked out on the Joe Biden-led budget talks where Democrats demanded a tax hike. No one knows if they walked out because they just disagreed or if it was because Joe Biden was talking. It didn’t matter, Biden kept talking anyway.
6) Bristol Palin’s memoir is out. Levi Johnston has said, “I wouldn’t read it even if I could.”
7) Prince Harry is saying that he is 100% single. That’s the same thing Anthony Weiner was saying when he would sext his photos. But he was pretending it was his penis talking, kind of bragging, like to say there was only one of them in there.
8) Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady of the Brady Bunch, says she got crabs after a one-night-stand with former NYC mayor, John Lindsay, a career politician. Ah yes, it makes you yearn for the good old days. Back then she got screwed by a politician and all she got was crabs. Nowadays, everyone gets screwed by politicians, and it’s not even consensual sex, and we end up with something like Obamacare.
9) Ron Artest of the Los Angeles Lakers wants to change his name to World Peace. I can just see it next year with the Lakers in the playoffs and the ref calls a technical for an excessive foul by World Peace.
10) Last week President Obama and Justin Beiber were in NYC at the same time. Obama was there to raise money for his presidential campaign and Beiber was there launching a new fragrance. Some people were saying there was a foul stench from both of their activities.
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